Friday, June 4, 2010

Ec#2

Since I assume that the film Babies was produced by Americans, It makes the child from San Francisco seem to be raised the best although I personally enjoyed watching the child from Tokyo. The film is incredible in that the people are living in completely different parts of the world with different circumstances in different environments but all have similar methods in which they raise there children. I personally think that if any of the children were transferred to a different environment they would be affected by it at first. At year 1 you are sort of getting used to your environment and can expect certain things to an extent. Another thing is at that age you start to see certain places over and over again and are familiar with them which would be a major shift if any of the children were switched, especially since each of the children were coming from such different places and lifestyles.
The interesting child to me was the one from Namibia. This child was given a lot of freedom to figure things out for itself. Ponijao, is given space to make options for herself and explore things.
The best part of this movie though is just how much people research raising children and the proper methods and in this movie it just portrays it as being so effortless and simple where in America we are often the people that go all out when it comes to how to raise children and what methods to use. That kind of makes the whole film....ironic (i know, i know irony means something else)

Friday, May 28, 2010

EC#1

Watching YOU THE MAN was very good to watch but I think it was more a performance targeted to students in 9th and 10th grade but it still had benefits for me. A performance where there is a speaker stating facts to listeners about whatever the given topic only holds there attention for so long. The actor that did YOU THE MAN did a great job of keeping everyone interested and alert which helped get his point across to the viewers. I realized during our discussion that a lot of the younger men in our discussion group became more open and did not mind sharing things because they had just heard an actor share his stories which gave the students something to relate to. The problem with YOU THE MAN was that he did not show any aspect of the bad side of beating women. Because of the fact that he did it in such a way that he was getting props from his friends, it made it difficult to understand that in fact it was really bad to hit women and although it may have seemed obvious to others, I dont think some people understood that. I Definitely think this presentation should be done again next year not so much because of the presentation but because of the discussion groups that happened after. During the discussion, at least in my group we all shared personal issues and felt like we could trust one another to not share what was said. The members of our group were all different ages which is what made the discussion so helpful because we all had different experiences to share with the group. Having someone come in and talk to teens about this topic is a lot more effective than when parents attempts to talk to there kids about it because it makes the kids feel very uncomfortable.
One of the primary reasons for violence in the performance was the aspect of jealousy. Jealousy is something I see very very often in relationships and although the statistic said that it is primary men that beat women I do also think that many women provoke men. I am not saying that it is ok in any form to beat a woman but I think this is evident a lot. Men often get very attached to there "woman" and therefore protective. When they hear or see there girlfriend with another guy they immediately get very tense and angry which triggers violence. Another factor leads to aggression and violence is Alcohol. Many males become very aggressive when they drink too much.
After doing a little reading online I noticed that a lot of women that have actually been beaten by there husbands explain why it happens. Most often though it is because a man often feels like he is powerless in his world and thinks that beating a woman shows that he has power over other people, in this case the woman. Another reason was that when a man is beat as a kid by his father, they kid usually becomes one of two people. Either he is very compassionate and sweet or he is very angry and physical because of what happened to him as a kid.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

HW 58

Marguerite was the speaker that i think i shared the most similar beliefs with. Although Josh Marks had some interesting thoughts and methods he planned to use when raising his kids, Marguerite had the same core values as I do. She stressed the importance of honesty and trust and explained in a way that was not sugar coating. She admitted that of course at times her children were not going to tell her the truth and not get along with her but she did what she could to minimize them doing this as much as she could. She was fully aware that each of her three children would have very different personalities that would cause them to have different interests and passions, which she would all support equally. Regardless of there passions being different she made it important to teach them all certain qualities to guide them. She also made an interesting point about how although she taught them all the same values, she raised each child a little differently. Her first child she was very cautious with and was worried about every little detail and by her third child she let him go play alone and was less worried but still loved him equally.
Josh Marks plan had a lot more structure than that of Marguerite yet both have their advantages. His main motto seemed to be that you are not able to shape your children in the end but you are able to guide them. Josh Marks plans activities for his child so that his child is able to develop necessary skills and find hobbies. Most people would say that this method kills the imagination factor for the child but I think it is the other way around. Kids that are given the freedom to do what they what often end up sitting in front on the Television set for hours where a child like that of Josh Marks may be entered in a ceramics class where the level of imagination is a lot higher than sitting in front on a TV. I don't think there is a concrete way to raise children, do what you personally believe is right.

Parenting comes natural to a lot of people. It seems like balance is key to raising a child well. Too much playtime and he loses structure but too much structure and he loses enjoyment and freedom. Let the child explore to find his own passions but help to show him the in depth of these passions when he has found them. All too often I see parents trying to turn there kids into the people they never were. The typical stereotype is the football star that never made would have his son do anything possible to make it. Growing up around sports I always found it very sad when a child develops an interest in a sport that is not the same one as that of the parents and therefore the parent does not support as much as he would if it were his sport.
Being a parent is a full time job and without care and support I think it affects the child in the long run. When parents are not around as much to raise the child, I feel like the child is forced to grow up a lot quicker and it becomes independent faster which is often not a good thing because there are so many vital things children need to be taught by there parents and they miss out on that. During My parents divorce I was ignored a lot and put off and it made my lose trust and faith in my parents which I still have today. Although it is very sad, it is something that I wish i could change. The reverse also happens that parents are never able to let go of there children and are over strict with them. Usually around the time when college comes they have so much freedom and they are not able to handle it after all these years of being under strict order.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

hw57

>Kids should be parented with as much love and touch as possible. After reading the book, Tuesdays with Morrie, this became clear to me. Deep down we all crave to be touched physically. As children we never receive it enough because we grow up so quickly. As far as teaching a child rules I think respect is the most important factor. If a child does not respect its parent it seems nearly impossible to raise the kid in a good way. Time outs are a necessary way to show boundries on what is ok and what is not ok. Co-sleeping is a very interesting topic. Let the child sleep with the parents for too long and he will have trouble being dependent. I think to a certain extent parents should let children sleep with parents. I personally slept with my parents for a very long time but still seem to be quite independent. I do not think research is necessary in order to raise children. Although it may sound dumb, I think parenting is an instinct that we are born with and it is more evident in women. Little girls always have dolls that they dress and change and that is how I think this instinct first kicks in.
Reading is critical at a young age because it broadens there vocabulary earlier because they are constantly hearing words. Although they do not fully understand them, the mind is a sponge at such a young age and picks up things very quickly.
One thing that I found dreadful was the ferber method. Although never used on me just hearing about it makes me sad. I think it makes the child feel worthless and will not be able to rely on people later in life. Although it may teach children to solve problems out on there own I think it makes them not feel appreciated enough. It seems wrong to me to have a child a such a young age figure out for himself that he is teething.




Attachment parenting is what I believe is the best way to raise kids. To an extent of course you need to let your children figure things out for themselves but they have so many years coming ahead of them to figure that out. Sleep with them, show them love and give them confidence. The children should feel comfortable and realize as soon as possible what family is for. This is one of the things we forget as we get older. Kids that are close to there parents feel like someone is always there for them, someone is always available to go to. Even if maybe leaving children alone was best for them, the children would not understand what is best for them at such a young age and can therefore not be what is best for them because it makes them lose this feeling of importance.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hw54

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)



I found this an interesting way of categorizing people into different groups based on a series of statements and responding to how much or little they apply to you. After doing a bit or research I found out that there was a study done on the Myers-Briggs test in order to evaluate its validity. It showed that 63%

Monday, May 17, 2010

hw56

What is it about teenagers that prevents them from having long lasting relationships?

Is puberty the primary reason that teen relationships rarely work?

Do people from loving families make for better partners in teen relationships?

How does family income effect relationships with teens?

Are teens capable of loving at such a young age?




Interview with dad.


What is it about teenagers that prevents them from having long lasting relationships?

Well first off, I dont think it is one single thing that allows teens to have long lasting relationships. One of the major issues that is overlooked is time management. Teenagers have so many things going on at the same time that it becomes hard to be able to show affection and commit to someone. It is just an overwhelming time period is everyones life.


Is puberty the primary reason that teen relationships rarely work?

Puberty definitely plays a role in teen relationships. Hormones and being uncomfortable with your body. With that said though I think puberty also has a positive side in its role with teen relationships. During puberty your body is undergoing so many physical changes that you often become unhappy with your appearance. Relationships can make you feel loved, important and good about yourself and make puberty a bit easier.


Interview with coffee shop owner near house


Do people from loving families make for better partners in teen relationships?

That is a good question. Personally coming from a family with problems I think it has actually made me a better partner because I know what to avoid and what not to do. I think that people from loving families actually may have a harder time because they will often trust someone too easily. The other side of it is that they coming from a loving background and are bound to show more love and care to there partner.

How does family income effect relationships with teens?

This relates to the previous question in a way. Family income often has the negative affect of causing people to be greedy. Using people for what they have and not for their personality. People from more wealthy families generally seem to be more prude and have less sex where lower income families seem to have sex at a younger age. I am not really sure what the reason for that is though.


Interview with friend from soccer


Are teens capable of loving at such a young age?

haha well as a teen myself I like to think i am able to love. The word love is thrown around very often now that it has lost some meaning. To really love someone is not easy and of course you will have your disagreements. I think teens have trouble loving someone because of the pressure they receive to have sex. They feel the need to find someone regardless of personality that they can have sex with just to gain respect from friends. This to me is the main problem with teen relationships, they are all sex driven.





Response.

Surprisingly I found that my friend from soccer had the most interesting response although I expected my dad to have some interesting thoughts. I was let down by my dads response because it was just so predictable and cliche. The coffee shop guy had some interesting thoughts although I think he was offended that I asked him questions about income. It is an interesting point that sex ruins teen relationships because I remember how much respect friends of mine were given when they shared with us that they had done sex.


Do you feel like teen relationships are going anywhere?

homework 53

I found this survey to be quite interesting because it was so personal. It felt like I was in denial of a lot of the topics being asked and it was weird answering them. A lot of the topics caused me to lose focus on the survey and think about the given question in regards to my family and other peoples families. Regardless of it being anonymous I still felt very exposed answering these questions. It caused me too think about uncomfortable topics that were personal. Some of the questions were interesting though and I am curious to see what the results were. Most of the questions are not about ourselves, they are about how we think and perceive ourselves. Even the family and friend related questions are merely about how we see them.

As the results came out I was not in for any big surprises, for the most part I was in the mainstream group, I was usually in the most popular category or the second most for the majority of the questions and occasionally I would be in the smallest category. I was surprised how honest people were about certain topics. For example questions about drinking alcohol were very honest probably because the survey was anonymous. I also think that the neutral answer was selected a lot. The reason for this is because if you look at the questions, they are mostly ones where it is a awkward topic and people do not feel comfortable answering them or even thinking about them because it makes them uncomfortable.

I took a look at the second survey and was amazed to see how many angry people there were. A lot of them carried guns and had been in fights and this is the main difference in our survey. Our survey was more about how we personally see ourselves where the other survey was more about what we have been through and experienced. I think that the surveys were different in that the one we took was not taken to prove a specific point whereas the other ones had more to do with violence.